resistance, bargaining

I was going along at a good clip; working, drawing, writing, painting– had finally sorted out that elusive balance wherein manifold priorities were all being attended! And now I sit, again feeling overwhelmed (and mildly crippled) as the list of work has suddenly expanded; bloomed before the trees have done. Additionally, I’ve not done a single drawing in several weeks nor worked on the paintings since my return from Upstate. On the upside, several of the jobs awaiting my attention (right now, even as I type) will be requiring that I draw! On the downside, this proposition always elicits a gun-shy sensation that makes getting started feel exceedingly difficult, hurdle-esque.

Part of the difficulty in this case is also the result of having been on vacation for a week; returning to a deluge of tight deadlines. My resistance is disporoportionate but results in procrastination measures nonetheless. Bargaining works– I can say “After I’ve completed X, I will allow myself to read my book for an hour” or some such. (Getting started is the hardest part.)