the aural backlash, and lost photographs

speaking of dreamlike images taken with a holga…

As I mentioned, I awoke (awakened? the usage of words of or relating to waking are enigmatic to me; perhaps to most…) with a head cold; not too bad, mild congestion and that space-brain sensation. So I took good care of myself all week so far. Yesterday even had a walk to the park, sat in the shade for awhile. By last evening I was feeing almost 100%. I went to Beast for my 8:00 helper-monkey shift behind the bar. Admittedly, towards the end of my shift I had a couple of drinks, but also a lot of water. As time to go home approached, I could feel my left ear beginning to plug! Acchhh! This has happened to me before, particularly in the middle of or at the end of being sickly. It is a most disconcerting experience; one loses sense of volume, depth, even balance to a small extent. It’s a feeling I have come to loathe and fear.

This morning I woke up for the first time at 8:30: ear(s) ringing, painful– troubling! I decided there was nothing for it in the immediate, so went back to sleep.

Having hit the “snooze” button more times than ever in history, I had many many dreams. One of them stands out. I was in a house, with some family members and others. The whole dream had the tone and softness of a super 8 reel (color film; flickering shadows and nothing sharp-edged; quite beautiful, if sad-looking) The only portion I recall clearly now was an incident involving a camera. I had a camera with me; it was one I’d not used in ages, and appeared to be a medium-format Holga (that is to say, larger by quite a bit than an actual Holga; as if it shot on a roll of film that made 4×6 negs). I was trying to take some photos with it, and kept seeing things that weren’t –but that had once been– through the viewfinder. It was not nearly as disturbing in the dream as it should have been; I continually made adjustments, perhaps thinking it was a play of light, or my imagination.

Then all at once, a large photographic print came slipping through one of the cracks in the approximate-at-best engineering of the camera body– it was a copy of some photograph I had taken years before with the camera! At length, having absolutely no luck finding anything of the moment in the (admittedly non-SLR) viewfinder, I opened the camera body. Inside were crammed, somehow, a slew of these ghost-prints from long ago times! Photos of Buck, photos of my mother and grandmother, photos of people dressed up, people younger, photos of friends I’d not seen in years, photos of abstractions and textures that were very beautiful and sad, all bearing that soft brownish twinge of age and neglect. It was phenomenal- a sunken treasure recovered! Just how they came to be in there I could not fathom nor explain (but, gift horse and all that). I wanted to go through them all, slowly, and recall each day or moment, but soon they were being passed around and gawked at by the others who were in the room, which was interesting, as I heard exclamations and recollections, the “other” perspectives of others in this way added to my own slantwise ones (to which I always attribute the feeling of wistfulness; sadness always sharing some of beauty’s qualities in the mind of a romantic)…

All elliptical drifting aside, it was a good dream and I wish I could remember the rest of it, but more than anything I’d like to have those lost photographs (none of which had ever actually existed. they were, after all, dream images.) Still. I’d like to have a chance to look at them more closely, any way.

(whoa- way to segue and digress!)
Point being, my ear is no longer ringing, and after sleeping away the whole morning, I feel a bit better, but still one ear is plugged and a little painful and I no longer feel nearly 100%. Feeling poorly, working through it.

1 thought on “the aural backlash, and lost photographs”

  1. The Dream Moods Dictionary says the following:


    To see a photograph in your dream, indicates that there is a relationship that needs your attention. It may also be telling of a false image and that something is not what it seems to be. Alternatively, it suggests that you are clinging on to the past or to some false hope.

    *Please see also Picture. See The Meaning In Action: “Black Wedding”


    To see a picture in your dream, symbolizes a mental imprint that remains persistent in your mind. There may be permanence in your actions. Also consider the pun on “picture this” or “seeing the big picture” in a situation.

    To dream that you are hanging a picture, represents acceptance or acknowledgement of the image that is depicted in the picture. You have come to an understanding or compromise regarding a situation.

    To dream that you are taking a picture, suggests that you need to get a good understanding and gain more information on some issue. You need to focus more attention to some situation or relationship. Perhaps you feel that you need to recapture some past moments in a relationship.

    To see a black and white picture in your dream, indicates that you need to consider opposing views/values. Alternatively, it may denote you need to add more color and pizazz to you life.

    To see a blurry picture in your dream, suggests that your memory of the depicted event, incident, or people, is fading. Perhaps you need to let go of the past and stop holding on to what was and concentrate on what is. On the other hand, you are attempting to disguise a situation and refusing to see it as it really is. You need to learn acceptance.


    And just as a bonus…


    To see a fork in your dream, signifies an extension of your reach. You are setting forth in pursuing your goals. Alternatively, it may be a pun on “fork it over”. Do you feel that you are being coerced or forced?

    To dream of being stabbed with a fork, indicates that you are too picky with the ideas/suggestions presented to you.

    To see someone eating with a fork, denotes that all his present worries will be cleared up through the help of a friend.

    Not very helpful but interesting nonetheless! I hope all is well!

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